


Too Far Gone

by JavierDjarin



Series: Javier Peña One Shots [2]
Category: Narcos (TV), Pedro Pascal - Fandom
Genre: Angst, F/M, Language, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-18 10:48:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29367270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JavierDjarin/pseuds/JavierDjarin
Summary: Javi begins to spiral after a series of bad events. You come to his rescue, hoping you aren’t too late and you can bring back your Javi.
Relationships: Javier Peña/Reader
Series: Javier Peña One Shots [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2153793
Kudos: 9





	Too Far Gone

**Author's Note:**

> This is written as a part of my 1000 follower celebration on Tumblr.  
> Spanish Translations are at the bottom.
> 
> Prompt 13: “Can you blame me?”  
> Prompt 14: “Stop trying to save me!”

Javier Peña was never one to fall for just one woman. He loved women too much to deprive them all of everything that was him. However, when she showed up in Colombia as his and Steve Murphy’s new partner, his world was completely turned upside down. She was everything: beautiful, funny, intelligent. Perfect. And for months she wanted nothing to do with him. She could smell the trouble on him from over a mile away. But that only made him want her even more. Now he knew there was only one girl for him, and that girl was you.

Despite how you honestly felt about him, you had made it a strict rule to not date your co-workers; _especially_ your partners. However, after working a long night, and several glasses of whiskey and wine between the two of you, one thing led to another. You remembered it well and could definitively say it was the best sex you’d ever had. After about a week of unbearable sexual tension, Steve forced the two of you to sit down and figure it out. Of course, that led to more sex, and an eventual relationship that evolved into more. You both lived in pure bliss to the point that Steve gagged at the thought of going on stakeouts with you. That was until Carrillo was murdered. 

His death changed everything. Javier became more distant. He stopped talking to you about a lot of things, blocked Steve out, and started going off on his own. You knew that he was hurting, blaming himself for what happened, but it was taking a toll on you. You had confronted him about his behavior, and it was almost like he didn’t care anymore. Things with Escobar weren’t getting any easier, and you couldn’t keep putting yourself through this with Javi anymore. After he had gone missing for days, you told him it was over. It was the hardest thing you’d ever done, but you just couldn’t do it anymore. That’s when Javi spiraled. He had nothing left to lose and could go “all in” to stop Escobar. 

Javi had been gone for several hours when you walked over to his desk. Steve looked at you with dead eyes as you thumbed through his things. “What are you doing?” he asked, even though it was obvious he didn’t care.

“He’s been gone for six hours. I’m going to look through his shit for a clue,” you said as you flipped through some notes he’d left.

Steve sighed and put down the file he was reading. “Trujillo!” he exclaimed.

The officer reluctantly left his desk and walked over to them. “What?”

“Peña tell you where he was going?” Steve asked.

Trujillo let out a deep breath and looked at you. He could see the worry on your face. Despite the fact that you had ended things with Javi, you still worried about him; you still cared. “He didn’t want me to tell you,” he said.

“Where is he Trujillo?” you snapped.

“He had a meeting with some new contact. They had information for him about the location of La Quica.”

Your head quickly turned to look at Steve, who was already standing. “And he was just going to do this on his own?”

Trujillo shrugged and turned back to his desk, but you walked over and stopped him. “Where?” you growled.

“A café. I don’t know where.”

“I know where,” Steve said, grabbing his jacket and keys. 

You followed after him, almost running to his Jeep. “He’s going to get himself killed,” you said to him.

Steve nodded and started the Jeep. “I know, but I’m afraid that’s what he wants.”

You cursed under your breath, counting the seconds until you pulled up to a seedy cafe about twenty minutes from the station. Javi was sitting at a booth with a large man in deep conversation. Frowning, you walked right up to him, ignoring Steve’s plea to wait. “What the fuck, Javi!” You exclaimed, standing in front of him.

The man sitting across from him grinned and gazed at you. “¿Quién es esta belleza?”

Javi glared at him and sneered. “Puedes olvidarlo, Berna.”

“¿Ella es tuya?” He chuckled and took a bite of his dinner while looking at you.

Javi glanced up at you with sad, dark eyes. It was obvious he hadn’t slept in a long time. You reached out and touched his cheek, running your thumb across it. “Javi,” you whispered, “come home.”

He took your hand off his face and turned back to Berna. “No,” he replied.

His answer stung you, but he wasn’t wrong. You were over, but it didn’t hurt any less. You looked back at Steve, who was waiting patiently by the door. He shrugged at you and maintained his post. Javi gave Berna his full attention as he got the location of one of Escobar’s men that could lead to La Quica. They shook hands and Javi stood to leave. You followed closely behind him until you were outside, when he spun around on both you and Steve. “What the fuck are you doing here?” he growled.

“What the fuck are you doing with Berna?” you asked. “Don’t tell me _you’re_ with Los Pepes.”

He frowned and glared at you and then at Steve. “Get her out of here,” he said.

“Can’t do that, Jav. We’re here to take you back to the station before you do something stupid,” he replied, crossing his arms.

He shook his head and turned to leave, but you reached out and grabbed his hand to stop him. He froze in place but didn’t turn to look at you. “Please, Javi,” you begged, “let’s go back and plan our next move together.”

“I can’t do that, Hermosa,” he whispered.

You felt the anger burning in your chest at his stubbornness. “You’re going to get yourself killed if you keep this up!”

He spun around, his brows pushed together. “Yeah? Well, if it happens, it happens. That’s the price I pay for following these leads.”

You knew he felt guilty about what happened to Carrillo, but now you knew why he was out here doing things alone. He wasn’t going to make the same mistake again, but you knew how to play his game. “Fine,” you said, “then, if this is how we’re going to do things, I’ll go out and find my own leads too. Start working on my own.”

You moved to walk away, but he stopped you. “Are you out of your mind?”

“What? If it’s good for you, then it’s good for me too!” You inched forward and stood toe to toe with him. 

“Dammit,” he breathed, “the only way I can keep everyone safe is if I do it my way.”

You shook your head. “Javi, no. It is not your job to keep us safe. We signed up for this. This is our job!”

He took a deep breath and ran his hand through his hair. “Carrillo didn’t sign up for what happened to him.”

“Jav, come on…” Steve trailed off, clueless on what to say.

“No, Steve,” he said, “now, get her out of here.” You stamped your foot, like a child, which got Javier’s attention. “Seriously?”

“I’m not leaving here without you. I’m not about to watch you throw your life away because of one mistake!”

He frowned even more at you. “Why do you care so much? It’s my decision. It’s my life to throw away. I don’t have anything left to lose, so **stop trying to save me!”**

“I wouldn’t have to if you got your head out of your ass, Javier!” You exclaimed. “Maybe if you woke up and realized the whole reason I’m here is because I still love you and can’t bear the thought of you going on suicide missions.”

He shook his head in disbelief and turned to leave. “Get her out of here, Steve,” he called over his shoulder. 

You followed after him. “No, you don’t get to walk off this time,” you continued, “despite what you want to believe, I do love you. It killed me leaving you, but I had to. I couldn’t stay with someone on a self destructive path, but I realize you’re hurting. You’re grieving with the loss, with the mistake. Don’t block us out, Javi. We are your partners and want to be there for you.”

He stopped at his Jeep, looking at your reflection in the glass. He didn’t want to admit that he still loved you too, and that’s why he had to do this. But, your admission made it harder to continue telling you no. “Why?” he muttered.

“Why what?”

He took a deep breath and turned to look at you. “Why do you still love me?”

You were taken aback by his question, almost like you expected him to know the answer. “Because,” you started, “you’re selfless.”

He huffed and shook his head.

“You are, and you’re generous, protective.”

“So are dogs,” he replied, “so replace me with one of those while I’m off on my ‘suicide missions.’” He grabbed a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and lit one.

“I’m not done!” you continued, frowning at him. “You can make me laugh like no one else. You trust me and the decisions I make, even if you don’t agree with them. You discovered a part of me that I never knew existed. I love you simply because you love me, Javier, and if you go don’t come back, I won’t know how to cope with it.”

The corners of his mouth twitched a little at you. “You’re too stubborn for your own good.”

“I’m being serious,” you said, getting angrier at him, “I’m tired of watching you run off, not knowing if you’re going to come back. So, please, I am begging you to stop this and come back to the office with us! Come back before you really do lose everything.”

“Hermosa,” he whispered, reaching out for you, but then retracting.

“No, Javi,” you continued, “reach out and touch me. Talk to me.”

He shook his head. “Everyone around me ends up dead,” he softly added, “it’s better to keep you at arm’s length.”

You growled and stormed away from him. He watched you walk away, heart broken yet again. He knew this pain was his own doing. He turned and unlocked his Jeep, but felt a strong hand on his shoulder. “You really are an idiot,” Steve said.

 **“Can you blame me?”** he mumbled. “Driving her away will keep her safe.”

Steve rolled his eyes and shook his head. “I take that back; you’re an asshole. You’re only going to drive her insane, that’s what you’re going to do. She’s going to follow after you every time you do this now, putting her in even more danger.”

He sighed and flicked his cigarette butt into the street. He glanced between his best friend and the one woman he loved who was leaning against their Jeep wiping tears from her eyes. His heart wrenched as he saw her’s breaking before him. His feet were moving before he noticed it as he slowly walked over to you. You used the palm of your hand to wipe away the tear rolling down your cheek. He grabbed your arm and pulled you towards him, enveloping you in his body. “I don’t want to lose you,” he whispered into your hair. 

“You won’t if you just let me in,” you softly replied.

He held you tighter. “I’m so sorry.” His hand rested under your chin as he pulled your face up to his. 

“Don’t be,” you muttered. “You’re hurting.”

He pulled your face closer and kissed you softly. “Thank you for loving me, even when I drive you insane.”

You grinned and kissed him again. He wrapped his arms around you, lifting you off the ground a little. Your hands ran through his hair, playing with the curls at the base of his neck. Steve walked up from behind and gagged, breaking you apart. “Can you at least do this at _your_ Jeep, Jav, so I can leave?” He chided.

You smiled and leaned against his chest. “We’ll see you back at the station,” you chuckled.

Javier turned to look at him. “Call Martinez. Tell him he’s going to want to hear this,” he grinned.

Steve curled his lip and looked between the two of you. “I don’t think he will.”

“The lead, asshole,” Javi stressed, “what Berna told me. Get your mind out of the gutter.”

He chuckled and moved past both of you to get into the car. “Glad to have you back, Jav,” he added, “I’ll see you later.”

He pulled away and you leaned into Javi’s side, walking to his Jeep with his arm around you. You slid into the passenger seat and waited for him to join you in the car. You watched as he glanced back at the café. Berna was just leaving, and he smiled, waving at him. Javi nodded and hopped into the driver’s seat. He leaned over to kiss you again before resting his hand on your thigh and driving off towards the station. He wasn’t completely back to being your Javi. He’d traveled far down this path of self destruction, but at least you knew he wasn’t too far gone.

**Translations**

  * _¿Quién es esta belleza? - Who is this beauty?_
  * _Puedes olvidarlo, Berna. - You can forget it, Berna._
  * _¿Ella es tuya? - Is she yours?_




End file.
